Ground Zero: Building a New Career
Week 1
Have you ever woken up one day and felt...unfulfilled? Like there was something missing from your life? You take stock of the things and people around you and can’t shake the feeling that something just isn’t quite right? For me, this happened just after my 25th birthday.I woke up and felt an emptiness. It was a strange feeling because I didn’t completely understand where it was coming from. My physical health (though not perfect) was at the healthiest it had been in four years. I had a few good friends that I could rely on. My family was supportive in every way that they could be. And my finances were on the mend thanks to a stable job. So what really was the problem?
A first important step was to acknowledge that I was going through a bout of depression. As someone who had previously gone through depressive episodes, I recognized my own personal signs. Furthermore, I knew that dealing with mental health would always be an ongoing journey so it wasn’t completely out of the realm of possibility. It is important to note that depression isn’t rational. It can strike when everything may seem to be ok.That was something I learned throughout my journey and why I was able to recognize it this time around. Since that was what I was experiencing, it was ok to admit that. The more important thing was to work through it. So I did. I reached out and sought therapy. I committed to making self care part of my weekly routine and did what I needed to do to make sure that this bout didn’t swallow me whole. It wasn’t easy, but I came out on the other side. Though I managed to work through my depression, I hadn’t completely gotten to the root cause of the issue. But it was a start.
The major turning point for getting to the root cause of why I was feeling depressed came when I listened to my closest friends tell me all about the amazing things they were accomplishing for themselves. Don’t get me wrong, I was truly happy for them. They were making strides in their careers, getting promoted and doing work they actually enjoyed. When you see the people you care about get excited talking about the work they do, it makes you get excited too! At the same time, it also puts things into perspective. When was the last time I got that excited talking about work? Then you think about it and have the sobering realization that isn’t something you experienced. In fact, if you were being honest with yourself, you admit that you purposely don’t even bring up work in conversations with your friends because you have nothing to talk about. You clock in. You do the work. You clock out. Then go home. Though you’re grateful for the stable income and the people you work with are nice enough, it doesn’t excite you and that’s no way to live. We aren’t put on this earth just to barely get through the day to day. Once I accepted that harsh realization, it became plain to see where the source of my depression was coming from. I knew then I had to make a change.
The only problem was where do I start? To give a bit more background, my field of study in school was political science and then law. My plan since I was ten years old was that I was going to become a lawyer and eventually start my own firm.That was always the plan. I never really considered any other alternatives. But then I had to have another harsh conversation with myself. Did I even still want to be a lawyer? Or did I feel like that was something I had to do because I had already invested so much time into that specific plan and I didn’t have any other options? I didn’t know it then, but i realize now it was the latter. The reality is, no one wants to invest so much time into something just to see it all go to waste. So I tried to find a happy medium. Thankfully, I had friends who were committed to helping me during this process. They suggested alternative jobs where I could still be in the legal field, but didn’t have to practice law. I thought, “Yes, here is the solution and everything is going to get better now.” And yet...I still couldn’t bring myself to apply to the numerous listings that were sent to me. Nothing really excited me and though I was sure I wanted a new job and I was prepared to do the work to get that job, like Goldilocks I hadn’t found the one that was just right. Harsh conversation time (again); it was time to admit that I couldn’t find my “just right” because I wasn’t looking in the right field. I didn’t just need a new job, I needed a new career. And that career just wasn’t in the legal field.
When I admitted that to myself, it was both exhilarating and scary. Exhilarating because it meant that my stagnancy and depression wasn’t due to there being something fundamentally wrong with me or that I wasn’t working hard enough, but it was exhilarating because I had finally gotten to the root cause of the problem and I could move forward. However, it still was scary. If I wasn’t going to do law, what was I going to do? For the first time in a long time, I wasn’t following the plan I had stuck to for over sixteen years. That wasn’t just scary, that was terrifying.
So that brings me to why I’m here. Fasting forward to the present, and I am ready to start my new journey of building my new career from the ground up. With that said, we are in a time where documenting the journey has become a valuable tool. Not just for yourself, but for others. I know I’m not the first(nor will I be the last) to make a drastic career change. However, my hope is that by detailing and recording my journey, others will be able to take some of the things I learn along the way and apply them to their own journeys and we all grow together. At the very least, I hope that I can show someone out there that it’s never too late to change your path, and if I can do it, you can too.
I will be blogging every step of the way. Every week, I’ll be writing about not only the action steps I am taking to find my new career, but also my feelings throughout the entire process. You’re going to experience my highs and my lows in real time. I’ll warn you, some weeks are going to be tougher than others. Despite the fact that the prospect of starting completely over scares me, I am committed to this journey and being transparent about it with you. In exchange, I hope you’ll stay along for the ride.
So...welcome to Ground Zero. There’s nowhere to go but up.